Today felt like…
… because the truth is, each day that you wake up, you have everything you need.
Love and light and all that jazz,
mxo
quotes
it’s enough to begin…
“What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery
It’s been awhile and in that while, I’ve often made my way to my blog and wondered if and how to resume – how to begin again. Life has been busy and time scarce. But this is always the case and unless we consciously choose to add the things we cherish to our schedules, they often get lost even if they are important (but perhaps not urgent).
For me, writing has become urgent. 2015 has delivered a series of blows to the gut that I just wasn’t expecting. Now it’s time to heal and since I was kid, that’s involved putting pen to paper (for the really, truly personal bits) and sharing stories. So today marks my beginning… again.
And today, I’m invoking gratitude because I know that even on the darker days, I still have so very much to be thankful for (my spirited boy, the love of my life, family and friends, a roof over my head, food in my fridge, breath in my lungs, etc…)
I hope that today, on this last Friday in March, you too can find something to be grateful for.
much love and light… mxo
unplugging…
… then again, there comes a time when it’s best to unplug and delve inwards, to stop over-documenting life and start truly experiencing it instead.
That’s what I’m feeling and so, for the time being, we are retreating.
“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” Walden
mxo
mommy days…
I often get asked what I do all day now that I’m a mommy on mat leave. Here goes:
Ry and I had an awesome day planned – first, a play date and then some shopping for mommy. Neither happened.
After Ryan conveniently slept through his play date, we packed up and decided to hit the road for another adventure.
We ended up at Capital Espresso, owned and barista-ed by an old friend of mine. One delicious cappuccino and blueberry muffin later, we wandered around Queen for a bit, got my rings cleaned, and picked up these cute puppies at Made You Look:
That brings us to 11:00ish. We hit the road for Sherway. The kid has recently taken to HATING the car so we didn’t quite make it.
About half way, I decided my shopping adventure just wasn’t worth the amount of bloody-murder screaming we’d both have to endure. So we made a turn and, for the first time in YEARS, got “lost” in Toronto (as lost as you can get with a nav system in your car and a smartphone handy).
So we drove back home. Ryan had organic apples, spinach, kiwi, and broccoli with quinoa for lunch. It came out of a green pouch. I ate out of random tupperware containers with a fork.
1:00pm. The nap attempt begins.
1:45pm. The nap begins.
2:15pm. The nap ends.
Kid was awfully cranky at this point (tooth numero dos is coming in) but daddy, who was thankfully working from home, took him for a few minutes. I went to Timmy’s to get daddy a coffee.
With still so many hours left in the day, we packed up yet again and headed for a looooooooong walk. Over 8km later, the kid took his third nap. I waited in the stroller line-up for this bad boy:
We walked through the zoo at High Park and I bought cookies from some kids running a lemonade stand up the street (are those things still legal?). I think they thought my impromptu math test was pretty lame.
5pm. Almost dinner time. We did our exercises in the basement (kid in the Exersaucer, momma picked up some weights). Then dinner: Ryan ate organic apples, sweet potatoes, carrots and blueberries, this time from an orange pouch. I don’t remember what I ate.
I won’t lie, I started the bath 15 minutes early because solo parenting during dinner, bath and bedtime make for a looooooooooong day. Mercifully, the kid fell asleep instantly. I think he was pretty sick of me.
Plus, the kitchen, living room, and everywhere else still had to be put back together.
It’s now 8:00pm and there’s a rather large glass of wine in front of me. I’m eating the cookies I bought from the lemonade stand kids and I’m in my pajamas. I kind of miss the kid already.
In the words of my good friend, Mags:
“next time, just ask me what i’ve been watching on netflix. then we’ll actually have something to talk about.”
Happy Friday!
mxo
nothing but happiness…
Cappuccinos and croissants. Rainbow Songs and happiness.
mxo
resistance…
There’s a lot of resistance in me… a lot.
Change makes me anxious and any positive lifestyle changes seem to really drive me b*tsh*t crazy.
Case in point: I’ve been reading a lot about the evils of sugar recently. The stuff really is poison. I don’t eat much of it but as soon as I decided to cut back, I started to get the twitch… you know, the twitch that only six chocolate chip cookies could calm. Six!
When my friend told me she’s been minimizing her dairy and wheat intake and feeling great, I made some crack about maximizing mine and then ate an entire box of mac and cheese at home (I had to go out of my way to buy the stuff at the health food store).
And don’t even get me started on exercise…
WHAT’S THAT ABOUT?!!
In War of Art, Steven Pressfield states that the more resistance we feel towards something, the more important it is to our soul’s evolution. The more we run, the more we need to stay. Here’s my question: HOW?!
Maybe I should keep reading the book…
Sigh.
mxo
strangers and sandwiches (kind of)…
One of the many amazing things about having a baby is that strangers stop to chat. At least once a day someone stops us to comment on how cute Ryan is (probably the cutest ever, really). Then they tell us a bit of their life story, which is always such a privilege, and inevitably they end with something along the lines of, “enjoy it. It goes too quickly.”
My kid turned six months this week so I know it’s true: time evaporates. Life has this way of marching along and, if we’re not careful, we’ll miss it. Better enjoy it while we can.
mxo
Source: notonthehighstreet.com via tattoo brain fodder on pinterest
more moments…
I’ve spent a lot of time wishing away moments and trying to “fix” things. Those are times I’ll never get back.
But these days I’m working on something new: being present, being here and now, and soaking up the moments so that I can remember many fondly one day.
And so that this will never again be my truth:
“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner!” Colette
My favourite moment this week:
mxo
moments…
On one hand, this:
Exhaust the little moment.
Soon it dies.
And be it gash or gold
it will not come
again in this identical
disguise.
(Poem by Gwendolyn Brooks)
On the other, this: don’t carpe diem
mxo
turning 30…
Ryan is K.O.-ed in our bed next to me. It’s the only way he’ll nap in the afternoon and truthfully, I love these moments.
In a few weeks, I’m turning 30 – not exactly old, but a milestone nevertheless. Having just become a mom, and with this birthday looming, I think it’s safe to say I’m a grown up… although I don’t really feel like it yet (does anyone? ever?).
There are a few things I’d like to leave behind in this decade, a few things I’d like to take with me, and a few more that I’d like to breathe new life into. The first “lesson” is this:
“… for all of us, getting old is about letting go. Of regrets, of unachieved ambitions, of self-centeredness […] The letting go includes letting go of always wanting to be happy. The more I put happiness aside, the more easily I can settle with what is. The more I let go of being happy, the happier I am.”
A quote from Sue Moon’s article June’s edition of mindful.
J’adore.
mxo
maya c. 