:: rest ::

It’s just after 6am on Saturday, “stay-home-day”. My boys are still asleep – “a tiny one, a big one, and a man-boy” (three-year-olds are the best!). I am the “gwirl”, loving these quiet mornings to myself.

This week in a nutshell:  Hubby got sick. I felt weird. Hubby went on a business trip (or, as I’d like to call it, a vacation). Thank god for grandparents. Hubby came home, still super sick. I got sick. Three-year-old threw tantrums. Little one did what babies do. Now it’s the long weekend… 😳 🙃

I almost threw the towel in on this whole project about 80 times. BUT I didn’t (yay me!). Instead, I decided to focus on what I could: the listen” and “be” pillars, specifically rest and acceptance. This too shall pass… blah, blah, blah.

Yesterday I unscheduled and spent the day catching up on Hockey Wives and Super Soul Sundays with the babe. It was kind of lovely, snotty nose and all.

Bit by bit, inch by inch.

mxo

 

 

2015, a love letter

Dear 2015,

Phew. What a ride! This is meant to be a love letter, so I’ll be nice.

Thank you for teaching me that I am strong, that I can get knocked down and rise wiser and kinder. I bow to the lessons. Thank you for giving me the strength to keep going and for showing me that I am not alone.

And thank you for reminding me of how truly blessed I am! This life – wow.

Thank you for helping me to see that I am a good mom and that I have a great kid. He is my guru, my sage, and the littlest love of my life. Thank you for giving me the strength to wake up at all hours of the night, for being patient during his tantrums (sometimes), and for the magic he’s showing me in the world. Thank you for answering all of my prayers with that kid!

Thank you for the original love of my life – the kid’s dad and my partner in crime. I’m still not sure how I got to be so darn lucky… thank you!

Thank you for this home! When I was a little girl, I dreamt of a home like this – beautiful and serene, somewhere to live forever and always, a fireplace with stockings, and lots of rooms to fill with memories. Now I live here and I am in awe.

Thank you for the adventures and travels, for friends near and far, for chocolate and wine and lattes, for morning snuggles in bed and five seasons of Scandal.

Thank you for showing me that there is still so much to come. Thank you.

2016, hi.

With love,
mxo

soakuplove

:: inspired by a Note of Gratitude by my dearest, Nikki Belcher and Love Letter by the ever-awesome, Elena Brower.

 

#ordinarylife

Instagram and I have a love/ hate relationship.

I like sharing tidbits of my life here and there, and seeing what others up to.

Once in awhile, a picture will tweak something in me that I’m not proud of. Sometimes the perfectly sculpted bodies in perfectly arranged yoga poses, or the perfectly nutritious food perfect families are enjoying, inspire a full-on meltdown (last Sunday).

Here’s the crux of the matter:

instaperfect

Our lives are mostly ordinary but we tend to only document the extraordinary, best-possible, once-in-a-blue-moon tidbits. Read this article: instagram’s envy effect

I think the world needs to see more of these magical moments. The problem is, they make all of the other moments seem less magical and in not documenting them, we can forget what’s normal, perfectly a-ok and just #ordinarylife.

My life is both this:

insta1

And more often this:

insta2

I’m going to try to be a little bit more #ordinarylife in my ‘gramming. @mayacollum

Happy BEAUTIFUL Sunday!
mxo

dear me…

Life rarely goes according to plan when you’re trying to sell your house and move with a toddler. Life rarely goes according to plan when you’re dealing with a toddler – period. I naively started the Tiny Devotion’s #insanelyintentional challenge a few days ago and, not surprisingly, I’m already behind. 🙂

Let’s pretend day 6 was yesterday and today is day 7. Let’s.

Day 7’s assignment: to forgive someone.

insanelyintentional-day7
I chose me – we’re often the hardest on ourselves and this is absolutely true in my case. Here goes.

Dear me,
I forgive you for being ordinary.
I forgive you for not being particularly beautiful, exceptionally smart, or one iota funny.
I forgive you for being serious, often too serious. 
I forgive you for not accomplishing as much as you thought you would – you found a magical life instead.
I forgive you for not being a lawyer, a doctor, or a CEO – you’re a kick-butt mom, wife, and administrator instead.
I forgive you for not being the perfect earth momma you thought you’d be – sometimes the kid just wants a bagel with cream cheese for dinner and there’s no room for negotiations.
I forgive you for still having a soft tummy, 15 months later, and for being upset about it too often – croissants and wine are worth it.
I forgive you for not being able to bend into the perfect yoga pose for the perfect instagram pic (although lord knows you try) – sometimes it’s safer not to break things.
And so on.
I forgive you and I embrace you for all of the above… and I’ll forgive you in advance for when you lose this feeling and feel whiny and sh*tty again.
I embrace your ordinariness. It’s enough.

Love you,
mxo

 

it’s enough to begin…

“What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

It’s been awhile and in that while, I’ve often made my way to my blog and wondered if and how to resume – how to begin again. Life has been busy and time scarce. But this is always the case and unless we consciously choose to add the things we cherish to our schedules, they often get lost even if they are important (but perhaps not urgent).

For me, writing has become urgent. 2015 has delivered a series of blows to the gut that I just wasn’t expecting. Now it’s time to heal and since I was kid, that’s involved putting pen to paper (for the really, truly personal bits) and sharing stories. So today marks my beginning… again.

And today, I’m invoking gratitude because I know that even on the darker days, I still have so very much to be thankful for (my spirited boy, the love of my life, family and friends, a roof over my head, food in my fridge, breath in my lungs, etc…)

I hope that today, on this last Friday in March, you too can find something to be grateful for.

much love and light… mxo

Lovingly borrowed from the ever-inspiring, The Healthy Ginger (at www.thehealthyginger.com)
Lovingly borrowed from the ever-inspiring, The Healthy Ginger (at http://www.thehealthyginger.com)

 

happy happy to me!

Today I woke up grateful. And happy, like deep down in my soul happy.
Today is my 30th birthday and it has been an absolutely perfect day.
Today I realized that all of my dreams have come true. Every single one.
It scares me to say that, as if saying it will bring something bad on, but there’s so much crap in the world that sometimes we all have to shout out loud about the good stuff.

And there’s a lot of good stuff everywhere.

So, dear world, thank you for making this gal feel so darn loved.

Hugs,
mxo

life list…

Inspired by one of my new favourite blogs (little miss momma), I made a life list. It took awhile but it was fun!

In no particular order:

  1. Be a momma.
  2. Bake cookies with my babies on Sunday mornings.
  3. Learn to make pancakes.
  4. Drive stick shift.
  5. Master parallel parking.
  6. Figure out how to walk in heels.
  7. Surf.
  8. Travel to California…
  9. … and all over B.C.
  10. Eat croissants in Paris.
  11. Visit my old stomping grounds in Greece.
  12. Backpack through South America.
  13. Drink tea in London.
  14. Eat pasta in Italy.
  15. Share my story.
  16. Have monthly dinner parties.
  17. Have baby-free brunches with the girls.
  18. Define my style.
  19. Find a lipgloss that’s the right shade and not too sticky.
  20. Get regular manis.
  21. Practice pilates often.
  22. And yoga.
  23. Go on a silent retreat.
  24. Take the kids camping.
  25. Read 1,000 new books.
  26. Live by the ocean.
  27. Know how to pair wines with meals.
  28. Paint paintings.
  29. Make someone a birthday cake.
  30. Scuba dive.
  31. Do a pull-up.
  32. Do 50 push-ups without resting.
  33. Make friends with navasana.
  34. Have a penpal.
  35. Make my own greeting cards.
  36. Have a logo…
  37. … and personal business cards.
  38. Learn Illustrator and Photoshop.
  39. Stay in B&Bs.
  40. Attend a play in Stratford.
  41. Hike up a mountain.
  42. Make something from scratch.
  43. Take my kids to a farm.
  44. Buy less, spend more.
  45. Buy someone a coffee every week.
  46. Learn to change a tire.
  47. Make photo books.
  48. Drink a green juice every day for a month.
  49. Run a race.
  50. Wear something colourful everyday.
  51. Wear short-shorts.
  52. Take a road trip.
  53. Have a garden. Grow my own veggies.
  54. Host a big family holiday meal.
  55. Make my own jam.
  56. Play piano with my babies.
  57. Cook every recipe from a cookbook.
  58. Take a train ride across Canada…
  59. … and across Europe.
  60. Have a massage a month for an entire year.
  61. Get a body scrub.
  62. Own a stock portfolio and understanding it.
  63. Ride my bike 50km.
  64. Have picnics with my babies.
  65. Display all of my tea cups.
  66. Collect random bowls and plates.
  67. Make a gallery of family photos.
  68. Take the hubz to Pebble Beach.
  69. Make my own natural perfume.
  70. Sleep through the night (again).
  71. Read 10 biographies.
  72. Learn to use a DSLR.
  73. Develop a product.
  74. Volunteer at a retirement home.
  75. Volunteer at a hospice.
  76. Sit in those green seats behind the plate at a Blue Jays game.
  77. Spend an entire day in bed watching movies with the fam.
  78. Start a birthday tradition for my babies.
  79. Go back to school for something fun.
  80. Teach another yoga class.
  81. Have my own business.
  82. Take the kids on a trip around the world.
  83. See the Scarborough Bluffs.
  84. Go to Cherry Beach.
  85. Touch up the star tattoo on my foot.
  86. Buy each of my parents a house.
  87. Learn to curl my hair with a flat iron.
  88. Spend a birthday at the beach.
  89. Sew a quilt.
  90. Go ice skating…
  91. … and snowboarding.
  92. Document my family history.
  93. Write a thank you letter each day for a whole year.
  94. Attend a TRX class.
  95. Play in a sandbox with my grandbabies.
  96. Have a chalkboard wall at home.
  97. Own a ridiculously expensive pair of shoes… or a purse… or both.
  98. Institute wine and cheese Wednesdays.
  99. Do a yoga handstand.
  100. Tell someone I love them every single day.

What’s on your life list?
mxo

strangers and sandwiches (kind of)…

One of the many amazing things about having a baby is that strangers stop to chat. At least once a day someone stops us to comment on how cute Ryan is (probably the cutest ever, really). Then they tell us a bit of their life story, which is always such a privilege, and inevitably they end with something along the lines of, “enjoy it. It goes too quickly.”

My kid turned six months this week so I know it’s true: time evaporates. Life has this way of marching along and, if we’re not careful, we’ll miss it. Better enjoy it while we can.

mxo

sandwich

 

Source: notonthehighstreet.com via tattoo brain fodder on pinterest

point of arrival…

6:40am. I’m actually starting to enjoy these early mornings.

The arctic freeze hit Toronto again and yesterday was just far too cold to take my munchkin out. So we put on our comfy pants and started the countdown to when daddy got home.

A few hours in, I had a thought – just how much of my life has been a countdown to something…

… to finishing high school
… to exams being over
… to graduating university
… to my wedding day
… to babies
… to my due date
… to when this horrid winter finally lifts
… and to the next phase of Ryan’s life

And in counting down, how many precious moments did I wish away?

If we’re always looking ahead, when do we ever arrive?

Right now, I don’t want to be anywhere else but here and now, with a beautiful baby boy who will never again be five weeks, three days and one hour old.

mxo