Of this I am certain: something happens every time I stop fighting with the way things are […]
I don’t know what to call this turn of events or the freshness that follows it, but I know what it feels like: it feels like relief.
When it comes to diets, I’ve tried them all – seriously. For the last 20 years, I’ve been on an endless quest to “fix” things. I am so over it.
And, if I’m honest, any dietary tweaks would have been just another attempt to lose pounds I don’t need or want to lose. I am done fighting my body. It grew two beautiful boys and continues to sustain one – that’s good enough for me.
Tons and tons of veg. A bit of meat and seafood. A good cappuccino and a piece of dark chocolate each day. Ice cream cones with my kid because it’s summer and we’re making memories. This, to me, is nourishment. 💕
:: Weekly(ish) Update:: The last few weeks were a bit challenging with sick kiddos, hubby’s business trip, etc. I briefly fell off the exercise wagon and quickly realized it is essential to my wellbeing. Essential. There is nothing quite like a hard workout to shake off the sleep deprivation and instantly lift your spirits. Woot! ☺️
It’s just after 6am on Saturday, “stay-home-day”. My boys are still asleep – “a tiny one, a big one, and a man-boy” (three-year-olds are the best!). I am the “gwirl”, loving these quiet mornings to myself.
This week in a nutshell: Hubby got sick. I felt weird. Hubby went on a business trip (or, as I’d like to call it, a vacation). Thank god for grandparents. Hubby came home, still super sick. I got sick. Three-year-old threw tantrums. Little one did what babies do. Now it’s the long weekend… 😳 🙃
I almost threw the towel in on this whole project about 80 times. BUT I didn’t (yay me!). Instead, I decided to focus on what I could: the “listen” and “be” pillars, specifically rest and acceptance. This too shall pass… blah, blah, blah.
Yesterday I unscheduled and spent the day catching up on Hockey Wives and Super Soul Sundays with the babe. It was kind of lovely, snotty nose and all.
Fact: I have spent 40 of the last 48 months either pregnant or breastfeeding, or both. The other 8 months, I was recovering from lost pregnancies or trying to get pregnant… or both.
I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually spent.
But all of that is behind me now (except the breastfeeding part)! Two beautiful boys chose me to be their momma – I know I am blessed. Now it’s time to replenish my reserves and fill up my cup so that I can be the best momma possible to these two souls.
Enter project nourish: 6 months of nourishment to set the foundation of a lifetime of self-care and love. Starting today.
… all to be explained in time. And a weekly status update right here.
This is bold and a bit scary, but it’s also necessary. It’s time to commit. Join me on this journey (and keep me accountable!). 🙂
P.S. This will also force me to update this blog – painfully out of date. 🙃
Phew. What a ride! This is meant to be a love letter, so I’ll be nice.
Thank you for teaching me that I am strong, that I can get knocked down and rise wiser and kinder. I bow to the lessons. Thank you for giving me the strength to keep going and for showing me that I am not alone.
And thank you for reminding me of how truly blessed I am! This life – wow.
Thank you for helping me to see that I am a good mom and that I have a great kid. He is my guru, my sage, and the littlest love of my life. Thank you for giving me the strength to wake up at all hours of the night, for being patient during his tantrums (sometimes), and for the magic he’s showing me in the world. Thank you for answering all of my prayers with that kid!
Thank you for the original love of my life – the kid’s dad and my partner in crime. I’m still not sure how I got to be so darn lucky… thank you!
Thank you for this home! When I was a little girl, I dreamt of a home like this – beautiful and serene, somewhere to live forever and always, a fireplace with stockings, and lots of rooms to fill with memories. Now I live here and I am in awe.
Thank you for the adventures and travels, for friends near and far, for chocolate and wine and lattes, for morning snuggles in bed and five seasons of Scandal.
Thank you for showing me that there is still so much to come. Thank you.
I like sharing tidbits of my life here and there, and seeing what others up to.
Once in awhile, a picture will tweak something in me that I’m not proud of. Sometimes the perfectly sculpted bodies in perfectly arranged yoga poses, or the perfectly nutritious food perfect families are enjoying, inspire a full-on meltdown (last Sunday).
Here’s the crux of the matter:
Our lives are mostly ordinary but we tend to only document the extraordinary, best-possible, once-in-a-blue-moon tidbits. Read this article: instagram’s envy effect
I think the world needs to see more of these magical moments. The problem is, they make all of the other moments seem less magical and in not documenting them, we can forget what’s normal, perfectly a-ok and just #ordinarylife.
My life is both this:
And more often this:
I’m going to try to be a little bit more #ordinarylife in my ‘gramming. @mayacollum
Life rarely goes according to plan when you’re trying to sell your house and move with a toddler. Life rarely goes according to plan when you’re dealing with a toddler – period. I naively started the Tiny Devotion’s #insanelyintentional challenge a few days ago and, not surprisingly, I’m already behind. 🙂
Let’s pretend day 6 was yesterday and today is day 7. Let’s.
Day 7’s assignment: to forgive someone.
I chose me – we’re often the hardest on ourselves and this is absolutely true in my case. Here goes.
Dear me, I forgive you for being ordinary. I forgive you for not being particularly beautiful, exceptionally smart, or one iota funny. I forgive you for being serious, often too serious. I forgive you for not accomplishing as much as you thought you would – you found a magical life instead. I forgive you for not being a lawyer, a doctor, or a CEO – you’re a kick-butt mom, wife, and administrator instead. I forgive you for not being the perfect earth momma you thought you’d be – sometimes the kid just wants a bagel with cream cheese for dinner and there’s no room for negotiations. I forgive you for still having a soft tummy, 15 months later, and for being upset about it too often – croissants and wine are worth it. I forgive you for not being able to bend into the perfect yoga pose for the perfect instagram pic (although lord knows you try) – sometimes it’s safer not to break things. And so on. I forgive you and I embrace you for all of the above… and I’ll forgive you in advance for when you lose this feeling and feel whiny and sh*tty again. I embrace your ordinariness. It’s enough.
“What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery
It’s been awhile and in that while, I’ve often made my way to my blog and wondered if and how to resume – how to begin again. Life has been busy and time scarce. But this is always the case and unless we consciously choose to add the things we cherish to our schedules, they often get lost even if they are important (but perhaps not urgent).
For me, writing has become urgent. 2015 has delivered a series of blows to the gut that I just wasn’t expecting. Now it’s time to heal and since I was kid, that’s involved putting pen to paper (for the really, truly personal bits) and sharing stories. So today marks my beginning… again.
And today, I’m invoking gratitude because I know that even on the darker days, I still have so very much to be thankful for (my spirited boy, the love of my life, family and friends, a roof over my head, food in my fridge, breath in my lungs, etc…)
I hope that today, on this last Friday in March, you too can find something to be grateful for.