Last week was temper tantrum week.
There were tears, whining sessions, woes-me moments, and struggles with throwing in the towel on everything. “If I’m working so hard on feeling good, and I’m feeling this bad, what’s the point?” I couldn’t help but wonder.
It all made me feel very much like this ——————————»»
God knows what made me so miserable those 20+ years ago!
Yes, it was certainly temper tantrum week.
For the past six months or so, I have been on the incredible journey to iron out the wrinkles in my life. I wanted to finally get over my baggage and make this experience mean something more. I threw myself into all of the happy, healthy things I could think of – yoga (so much yoga!), healthy eating, spending time with friends and family, changing my relationship with money, etc. And I’ve put all of that out there, making this journey that much more vulnerable. So when weeks like this past one occur, it’s somewhat inevitable that I start questioning all of the time and effort I have already committed. What’s the point?
But that’s the thing about life, when you truly, really dedicate yourself to something, it will throw every last demon at your door. It will test you to see just how committed you are, how much you really want this change you’re asking for. If you really want it badly enough, you push through; if you don’t, you give up and return to status quo. I’d rather push through because I suspect that there’s a lesson in all of it, a chance to clear the baggage, and it’ll all be worth it – to be very honest, it already has been. I have to constantly remind myself that life isn’t about being perfect. It’s about overcoming obstacles and growing stronger and lighter with each battle won. There’s certainly a point to all of it.
With that said, I’m moving forward.
It’s almost February which means it’s time for new resolutions! Yippie! 🙂 Part of what I realized in the last few days is that I’m struggling because I’ve run myself into such a busy tizzy, without really having any aim. Busyness for the sake of busyness is exhausting. It leads to temper tantrums galore!
It’s time to get organized, to restructure and reset so that my time and energy is truly being used to meet my goals. So, February’s focus will be just that… FOCUS! One month to make sure everything (or almost everything) I am doing is geared towards that happy, healthy life I have been working so hard for.
In no particular order, I commit to:
- Focusing my aim.
- Focusing my schedule.
- Focusing my to-do lists.
- Focusing my exercise regime.
- Focusing my relaxation.
I’ll end today with one final thought (not my own, but Jonathan Winters is pretty cool):
I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
Blah, blah, blah… happy Sunday! 🙂